Favorite Parenting Line Of The Day

Too funny:

"I'm glad that the act of giving birth has not come to be known as going number three."

What happened to Disney?

The other day Rachel, Tenzin and I sat down to watch an old classic, Mary Poppins. Although it wasn't quite like I remembered, I can't figure out why Rachel and Tenzin aren't sleeping any more.

No food in house. Dad hungry.

Rap is dead, Punk rock is now.

"For relaxing times, make it Suntory time."

Lost In Translation continues to be one of my all-time favorite movies. I haven't seen it in quite a while, but I believe we're due for a rescreening.


I was reminiscing back to our Netflix days and ran across this exchange. It's such a good movie.

Bob [Bill Murray]: It gets a whole lot more complicated when you have kids.

Charlotte [Scarlet Johannson]: It's scary.

Bob: The most terrifying day of your life is the day the first one is born.

Charlotte: Nobody ever tells you that.

Bob: Your life, as you know it ... is gone. Never to return.

But they learn how to walk, and they learn how to talk ... and you want to be with them. And they turn out to be the most delightful people you will ever meet in your life.

I think it would be interesting to go back in time and watch/read/listen to every movie/book/song I've ever watched/read/heard - only now - I would be watching them as the parent of the most delightful person I've ever met (Actually, let me clarify that it would be interesting to go back in time...but it would DEFINITELY be cool to go back in time AND do this).

Everything in life has a new purpose. With a baby, the context of life itself has evolved; it's both familiar and different. I now find myself reflecting on my upbringing in an almost unhealthy way. I don't mean that my upbringing was unhealthy - I just mean that I'm constantly studying what my parents and other parents did when I was growing up, analyzing all the good and focusing on what I'm doing that's bad. I'm now to the point that I'm afraid if I do anything wrong, I could upset the balance of Tenzin's future world (the future Zen), consequently turning him into a meth addict hillbilly on Jerry Springer. Confused? Stay with me...

I no longer feel like I'm living in the moment. Instead I feel like I'm bonded TO moments. Anything I do as a parent is loaded with situational outcomes and is under constant scrutinization from my maturity bouncer (the little guy up in my head that runs the velvet rope for thoughts and actions...once Tenzin was born, he was told to tighten up ship...so far, he's been doing an OK job).

Adding to my anxiety, there are umpteen thousand bazillion million parenting books and magazines telling you to "Do this" or "Stop that" Additionally, you've also got friends and acquaintances proffering up their sagest-of-sage advice...it's all so intimidating (and while I appreciate it from most, it's amusing that the advice even flows from those with 22 year-olds "in lock down" at Butler County Corrections).

Examples of questions asked to self throughout a three minute period:

If Tenzin is three and does something bad should I tell him No, or will that kill his self-esteem, thus hermitizing his life and shying him away form all things sports/profession/love, eliminating any and all chances of - one day - judging a Miss America pageant?

Is it weird that I wear swimtrunks while taking a bath with Tenzin? Hey, if I couldn't walk or talk and was put into a tub with another dude, I'd appreciate a pair of trunks on them legs.

He's only been on his tummy five minutes today instead of the usual ten. Will that five minute loss of exercise cause his 15-year-old hand/eye coordination to sink below extraordinary? He's scheduled (in ink) to win his green jacket at The Masters in 2021. We can't have that...College is much easier if you're sponsored by Nike.

Should I lay off the the Russian language lessons until he can actually talk? To some it might seem a little excessive, but overall I don't think it interferes with his
transcendental meditation or his mandolin tablature.

In the first couple weeks of Tenzin's life none of this really mattered. Granted, I had a solid understanding of the hills I was about to climb, but Tenzin wasn't really all there. Before now -now being the 6 month mile marker- I wasn't worried about my role as a parent. Newborn babies are, for the most part, easy (please don't read any archived posts from the first couple of months. I don't know who that guy was).

They coo, you adore. Simple.

Now everything has changed. I stare into his big blue eyes (just like our mailman's) and watch as his pupils focus in and out, growing larger and smaller as they pass by each inch of my face. He's a mental sponge, soaking up the water drip by drip, taking it all in and locking it away in that brain of his. A big, blank encyclopedia just begging for ink. So the significance of my actions are now tenfold. He's no longer a big bundle of black poop and coo, relying solely on boobies and absorbent inner-cores.

De dun de-de dun de-de dundun.

Pressure pushing down on me
Pressing down on you no man ask for
Under pressure.

Back to my ruminations...

There are laws of nature that suggest that every action, whether good or bad, has its own consequences. I remember the little things that stuck in my gourd as a kid, the little actions that were profound memories of my youth; John Bryan State Park, my Grandpa Fleming's funeral, fireworks with Jared, Amy Grant's Christmas album on the tape deck 6 months before Christmas, painting Grandma's driveway with water (a great way to keep a troublemaker amused), trying coffee with my dad, parachuting from oak trees with umbrellas, and so on. I like to think that all of these moments shaped me into who I am today (especially the umbrella incident...definitely knocked something important loose). And while it might be common knowledge to some, I'm totally freaking out by my discovery: My son is beginning life!

With his development, I'm slowly beginning to grasp my role as Daddy; One comment, one action, one moment will be his John Bryan, his coffee, or, God forbid, his oak tree (I can guarantee you we don't have to worry about Amy Grant). I need to make some of my good stuff stick.

"The most terrifying day of your life is when the first one is born."

I definitely feel it, but it's not like the "terror" you usually think of: horror movies, car accidents, etc. It's a terror of disappointment; of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing, or not being there when you should be.

It's a beautiful, omnipresent fear that is starting to consume me with each giggle and cry. It's a fear that makes me want to thank my parents for never giving me up for adoption.

He's only six months old and I'm already learning.

The Z's New Album

What up!

My new album drops May 5th.

Dope beats and phat rhymes...Doc Seuss ain't got nothin' on me.

Check it out at Target or i-Tunes!

Word to my Mother. And Grandmother.

The California Disposable

We were (finally) able to get the pictures from the California disposable developed, no thanks to the Graceland Target store. Midway through the developing of our pictures, we were informed that the machine "broke" and some of the pictures didn't turn out right. There are still some great memories, but part of me is none too pleased. I've uploaded them to the Kodak Gallery. Here are some good ones:

I got your money!!!!

"No golfing today, Dad!!!!!
Buy me new diapers 'cause I pooped up my back!
MuwahhHahahahah!!!
Hahahahaha!!!!!!!!
Muwahhhahahaha!!!!!!!!!"

Tenzin, please lay off of the poop because dad IS golfing today.

Parenting...in short film.

I know it's extraordinary when you child starts talking for the first time. I also know it's important to harness the developmental skills therein.

I (also) now know how Rachel and I will honor that special moment in our parental lives:

We will write short scripts in which our child will act out films with humorous dialog (most likely not intended for a three-year-old).

Will makes us laugh.

Tenzin Found His Berries!!!

Yes, yes, we all know that the Thornburg family was blessed with a healthy baby boy, but Tenzin apparently didn't know (until now) that he is, in fact, a boy built with boy parts. Much to his dad's dismay, Tenzin has a new game called "Squeeze the Berries." Be it a bath, a diaper change, or just plain goofy naked-time, Tenzin feels the need to grab his grocery bag and squeeze as hard as possible (thank goodness the store doesn't carry eggs yet!).




We wanted him to develop and harness his motor skills as soon as possible, but had no idea that his first adventurous step would start like this. It's a lot -often too much- for a dad to see. I can't count the number of times I've flinched mid-dirty diaper wondering what, exactly, is going through that smiling head of his. Grin and squeeze, grin and squeeze. Sheesh.

Anyways, we now apply a "berry blanket" underneath his arms, stretching from armpit to armpit, blocking all roads leading south. So far, it appears as though the blanket is a success and his (future) manhood is temporarily protected. Hopefully this will break the habit forthwith.

That being said, our little man is growing sooooo fast. Rachel and I are astounded (almost daily) at how quickly he's learning/developing/moving.



First and foremost, there is life behind Tenzin! Not in a conventional or metaphorical sense, but in the sense that Tenzin now knows that he can turn and see something new. Life doesn't stop outside of his line of vision. Typically, we'll lay him on his back and in no time, he'll bend and twist to look at what's going on behind him. It's only a matter of weeks before he starts flipping all the way over.

Speaking of which, Jared (my best man from the wedding) was in town a little while ago and almost got Tenzin to flip from his back to his stomach. So long as Jared was behind him, Tenzin would support his leg against Jared's body and push with all of his might. About one more inch and he would have had it. It's only a matter of time before he's steam-rolling all over the house.

I know it's really not that big of a deal, but since it's our child, I consider it to be the most amazing feat ever achieved (screw you, moon landing!). It started with regular scheduling of tummy-time on his surfboard (Thanks Jared and Tamara!), and graduated to a daily push-up regimen ala the Navy Seals. We start curls and squats next week.



So now that he's moving, I'm prepping him for the next obvious step: saying "Daddy." Let me preface this by saying that I once watched an episode of SCRUBS where Dr. Cox stayed home with his newborn son. For about an hour and a half Dr. Cox did nothing but say, "Daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy...." I decided it was wise to implement this technique in our home. Unbeknownst to his mother, Tenzin and I spend copious amounts of time practicing the Dr. Cox. Let's hope some of it sticks. And I'm not even dead-set on "Daddy." I'll settle for a Papa, Pops, or even P-Daddy (the latter of which being my favorite).

There are a ton of other things going on and I know I've been slacking with the posts, but unfortunately, we'll have to keep this one short. Between work and a massive diaper rash (thank you, bananas!), I've had 6 hours of sleep in the last two days. And Rachel, God bless her soul, has stopped keeping track, but has undoubtedly tracked far less hours than I. So it's time for a strong drink and a long nap for us both.

I'll update the Kodak Gallery as soon as I can. We have some great pictures of Tenzin, Lily and Raymond (ADORABLE children of Rico and Theresa). We stopped by their house today to wish Teresa a happy 29th birthday and snapped some terrific pics. In the meantime, check out this video of Tenzin and I having Daddy-time while Mom was away:

Baby on board

I am not always sure of what kind of parent I'll turn out to be, but I'll always know that I'll be 1034% better than this guy.

If you think the beginning is bad/dangerous/hazardous, just wait until the end when the dad takes a turn.

A New Shirt

I found a new shirt for Tenzin today.
It would have appropriate right after he was born, but as of late, I've been slacking.

I'll stop surfing and update soon. I promise.

There's also this one.

Tiger Woods was golfing and making Tonight Show appearances at the age of two, but I'd rather Tenzin be doing this...

Australia's pint-sized wave king

April 05, 2007 12:00am

HE might be just two years old, but Jaylan Amor is making giant waves in the world of surfing.

The toddler is believed to be the youngest boarder on the Gold Coast and is already winning sponsorship deals with surf businesses.

He first stepped on a board at Currumbin beach six months ago and now brings the beach to a standstill each time he catches a wave.

"No one here has ever seen anyone this young surf before – he's just incredible," dad Peter said.
Jaylan's surfing skill came as no surprise though, as his four-year-old sister Shayla learned to surf a year ago.

"They both took to swimming like ducks to water and love the beach. Their mum and I were keen surfers when we were younger, so I guess our kids have got it in their blood," Mr Amor said.

Is this Australia's youngest surfer? ... Two-year-old Jaylan Amor is a surf sensation on the Gold Coast, bringing the beach to a standstill each time he catches a wave and already securing sponsorship deals.

Jaylan sits on his board while his dad paddles out to the open water. The toddler then hops up and rides waves back to the beach, sometimes cruising along for more than 50m.

"When he falls in he just dog-paddles back to the board and waits for me to get him," Mr Amor said.

But Jaylan is under no pressure to become the next Kelly Slater.

"We'll just let nature take its course. He's a pretty good soccer player so he might become the next Harry Kewell instead," his father said.

"The most important thing is that he enjoys surfing. You only have to watch him smiling to see that he loves being on the water."

Soooo lazy......

I promise I'll write a better update later this week, but I still haven't figured out how to cram 36 hours into one day.

Where does all the time go?

Apparently, the same place as the warm weather (it's still friggin' freezing here!).

In the mean time, here's a picture of the Zen at NBBJ's Easter Egg Hunt (4/4/07).

Every other kid was wearing Easter pastels, while our son rocked out in a Ramones bib. OY!

Surprise Numero Dos