Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Spring Break!!!

OK, after looking at the last picture in the post I realized that Tenzin looked just a teensy weensy drunk. Being the good father that I am, I decided that we should keep going with this theme.

Yes, those are glow sticks in his hands.

I don't even want to know how he got those beads.

You can see bikinis easier from the air!

Back in the day, partying with the Stones.

He's so Xtreme, you spell it without an "e."

And last but not least, Disco Tenzin from The Simpson's.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

What a fun weekend...

Click on pictures for larger view....

A big special thank you goes out to the Murdock family for their hospitality this weekend. A great time was had by all and the experience was exactly what we needed!

Lisa had invited us up to their St. Mary's lake house for Memorial Day (an invitation that we still think was given in jest, but you all know that it's never safe to joke around with the Thornburg's!!!).

St Mary's is usually about 45 minutes away from Columbus, but Ohio Highway Patrol was out to insure that our drive was a safe one. It ended up being a much lengthier hour-and-a-half. Seriously, they were parked about every 5 miles or so. As a side-note, anybody that drives drunk or speeds on Memorial Day weekend deserves their punishment.

Anyway, long story short, we arrived with every intention of camping in the front yard, but Ted & Lisa would here nothing of it. Seriously, we had tents and sleeping bags all ready to go!

They were so nice to show us a good time. We barbecued, drank, shared parenting stories and played some poker. Tenzin and Madison had a blast. She's grown up sooo much since I saw her last (Tenzin's baby shower in Columbus!).

We had planned on leaving Monday morning, but Ted coaxed us into going out on the pontoon boat with the jet skis. I'm so glad we stayed. It was such a good time for us and so much fun for the kids. And let me say one thing: The only thing more exciting than flying across a lake at 50 mph on a four-person jet ski is seeing your wife flail through the air and into the water on a turn. Sorry, Rachel! Luckily the water was warm or else I'd be writing this from the couch.

This weekend also gave me some ideas. Why hasn't anybody invented a waterbed crib? That rocking motion is like baby Ambien. Tenzin was out cold for the first hour!

We also had quite a bit of spit-up. I hope it wasn't a result of seasickness, or else this kid is going to have a looooong road ahead of him. We'll have to train that stomach for future fishing trips with West Coast Grandpa!

All in all, we couldn't have asked for more. What started out as a random road trip turned into a wonderful, wonderful weekend. Thanks again, guys.

Kodak Gallery Update

The Geekiest of Cool

Via Sci Fi Tech blog:

Taking the kids out for a walk no longer has to be a boring affair. This TrioBike is a bike with a two-seater stroller attached to the front, allowing you to get your bicycle-based exercise while taking the kids out for some fresh air. You'll appreciate being able to pedal around, and the children will love moving at a speedy clip.

Even better, the stroller can be detached from the bike, allowing you to drop your spawn off at daycare and then enjoy a normal bike ride, rather than being stuck pushing and empty stroller around like some kind of sucker.


Friday, May 25, 2007

Laziest Geek on the Planet!!!

This is what we've become...from one extreme to the other. First we've got the bottle via pacifier thingy I wrote about, where you no longer have to hold your child. Now we're too lazy to go on walks. Sheesh.

Best Children's Books on the Market

The first book, Let's Find Out About Air, is definitely my favorite!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Just plain gross...

You don't have to tell me about snotty kids! Tenzin snots so much, that we caught people honeymooning right outside of his Niagra nose.

When he was tiny, it was pretty intimidating as a parent. You'd suction out the slightest bit-o-booger out of fear of suffocation. Even walking out of the house, we'd make sure that every little tiny eye/nose/mouth crusty was wiped clean so that our newborn son would glow adorably, exemplifying all the signs and symptoms of a healthy baby.

Now, as we celebrate his headcold's one month birthday, things have definitely changed. He's kind of like an oil spill; you can't try to get every drop, you can only hope to contain the mess.

Why am I talking about snot? Well, I found this product online today. I never knew how many strange products there were, but I think I'm just beginning to scratch the surface. Here ya go:

The Nosefrida is a Swedish nasal aspirator that removes mucous from your child’s nose via your suctioning mouth. Although the website states that it comes with a filter, thus blocking the passage of snot to your lips, I still don't think I would want to take that risk (Full Disclosure: I wore plastic gloves when changing my nephew's diaper not more than one year ago (Really Full Disclosure: Said diaper was only wet. No poop)).

Sadly, it donned on me that no matter how odd I think this invention is, the guy is probably a millionaire. Every nutjob and their mother is nowadays.

So I came up with an invention aimed at parents like Rachel and I who are no longer striving for booger perfection. This is for the parents just trying to contain the mess.

I will give you the address of my online store when the web developer finishes his work.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Laziness or Creativity?

The Podee Hands-Free bottle feeder is basically a small tube that attaches to a regular bottle to (supposedly) make milk time work a lot easier. It's rigged so you can set the bottle next/near/on top of the baby and just give them the nipple...kind of like if your wife had Inspector Gadget boobies.

The Podee® Baby Bottle is a welcome solution to today’s time crunch when it comes to feeding babies. It’s a complete system that includes an 8-ounce bottle and all the necessary parts. The Podee Baby Bottle ends dropped bottles, allow for upright feeding to help reduce ear infection and colic. It’s ideal for feeding multiple babies at the same time. Meets safety standards.

I hadn't seen these before, but something really set me off. Maybe it's just because I actually enjoy holding my son, but can we get any lazier as a generation? Next thing you know, you'll be able to buy baby colostomy tubes and peelable clothing.

Anybody that has ever tried these/seen these/know about these, please feel free to leave something in the comment section. The site says that the company formed in the early 80's, but I just can't see something like this being around that long. Like I said, i don't know what it is that creeps me out about this thing, but it just does.

Stroll for a Cure Sunday

What a crazy month! It just feels like we never stop running. I understand that this “parenthood thing” is a fast-paced go-go-go environment, but this is getting ridiculous!

Health-wise, Tenzin and I have been battling the flu off-and-on for the last four weeks. He’s officially adopted the moniker “Smokey,” given the hacking phlegmy cough he’s perfected. I seriously think we could hike up his pants, give him his bottle of Maloxx, comb over his combover, snot-up his nose, and drop him off in front of an elderly care facility and they would sign him in as a senior citizen without a second glance. He just looks (hilariously) like a senile 85 year old man when he’s at his gooiest.

Sicknesses be damned, we did what most people do when they’re under the weather and walked a 5K. This past Sunday was the 15th annual Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in downtown Columbus. The race has grown in to a HUGE event, now hosting 37,000+ racers and raising over $2 million. 75% of that money is used locally for education and screening throughout Ohio, and the other 25% is used to fund national research for a cure for breast cancer. The race itself is really a site to behold. All of downtown is flooded in a sea of pink with walkers/runners/wheelers hooting and hollering as they sing and dance their way around downtown. My brother Jonathan and brother-in-law Mike take things a little more seriously, actually participating in the “Race” portion of Race for a Cure, while Rachel, Tenzin and I Lollygag for a Cure at a much, much slower pace.

The event is perfect for Tenzin; he’s such a little ball of curiosity. There is nothing that little kid loves more than a good walk with some scenery. Rachel and Tenzin even have a new favorite pastime during the day where they’ll walk down to the elementary school (about a half a block down the street from our house) to watch the kids play at recess, or load and unload from the busses. He’ll just sit there in awe at all the commotion as the kids run and play (while Rachel chokes back the thought that he’ll - one day - be old enough to attend elementary school!).

Oh! And here’s some breaking news for you: the teeth have arrived!!! We’ve got one tiny pearly white poking through his bottom gum, with another tooth fighting to surface. His mini-chiclets are coming in (surprisingly) without much fanfare; just a little whimpering and ear-pulling. Nothing a little dab-o-Motrin can’t cure (we leave the whiskey on the gums for mom and dad).

Seeing as he’s growing up, we decided to add a small regimen of solid food to his diet. Much to his Aunt Sarah’s dismay, he now eats at least three T-Bone steaks a week. Joking of course, but he does sound like a little hippy with his new diet. He loves his yams, cantaloupe, sweet potatoes, peas, and bananas.

Unfortunately for Tenzin, we just recently discovered that bananas are to his ass what lit cigarettes are to the drought-ridden California landscape!!! Seriously, there is no greater diaper rash than a banana-stimulated diaper rash. If Tenzin was Superman, nanas would be his kryptonite! Before this discovery, we blamed everything from daycare to diapers for his sandpapered bum. Poor guy. Took us forever to realize that the bananas were the culprit. Oh, the irony that our little monkey can’t eat his favorite fruit.

Tenzin will also have some visitors this week. Brandi is in town from Arizona and Aunt Ashley will be arriving in just a few days from California. We checked Tenzin’s Blackberry and it looks like his dance card will be full for quite a while. He’s been busy with preparations, honing his coos and giggles. Nothing but A-material for the next week!

That’s about it for now. I’ll try to add some simple picture updates throughout the week. I’ll even snap a picture of the tooth if you can tell me how to take a picture of the inside of a baby’s mouth without pinning him down via duct tape/crowbar. Deena, you were right!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Now on Tape.

Parenting Products

Finally! A sun shade that doesn't scream, "My kids have taken over my car and my life." I've been wondering if they made anything besides those Pooh Bear and Safety First sunshades and this one not only looks better, but allows you to roll down the windows when in place!

Air/Sun Shade - $24.95
Fitted screens allow air in but keep bugs and sun out.
These ingenious screens fit over the window frame of your rear door to provide protection whether the window is up or down. Special screen material helps keep out bugs and harsh sunlight while letting in fresh air. Won't block your outward visibility and keeps dog's noses and kid's hands safely inside. Once the self-adhesive tabs are in place, the screens can be removed and re-installed in seconds. Comes in six sizes to ensure a good fit. Please click on the Sizing Chart to find the correct size for your vehicle. Click on this Sizing Chart to find the correct size for your vehicle.

Laughing Babies

At ten months old, this kid already has the stoner laugh/video game thing down pat!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Newest pictures for you all....

Happy day...

-Her uncanny ability to be coherent at 4:00 in the morning.

-Her unwavering patience.

-Her adoring stare.

-Her constant desire to grow and learn as a mother.

-Her understanding, even in times of exhaustion.

-Her soft touch and delicate comfort only a mother can provide.

-Her pronunciation of words in Spanish, compared to my broken Spanglesh.

-Her time, squeezing 25 hours into a day.

-Her goals and optimism.

-Her innocent giggles at a simple baby toot.

and so much more...

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Another New Video

A special thanks to the Rayo family for their temporary donation of a Jumperoo. It only took Tenzin about 23 seconds before he figured out the sole intent of this device.

Try to enjoy the electronic sounding tune that goes along with it. Listen closely. You hear it? Now you know what it sounds like inside of my head 24/7.

Is it time to potty train yet?

When Tenzin decides he's ready for the big-boy toilet, we are soooooooo showing this video.

Rockin' Out With Hardcore Nipples!

C'mon silly people, what did you think I meant?!?! Get your minds out of the gutter.

I stumbled across these wonderful baby bottles at Urban Baby Runway. I would have bought some, but the site also offers "Diva" baby bottles and I don't condone Diva-ism among month-year-olds (i.e children with ages that are still counted in month form: Oscar is 18 months).

I'm sorry, but the moment you call your little drooler a Diva is the moment you are no longer allowed to feign surprise when she invites you onto the Maury Show to inform you that her little twelve-year-old-self is ready to start a family of her own.

"Banjo are NOT the father!!!!"

From the website:

What cool baby wants a boring old clear bottle? Nipple is replaceable with any standard nipple. Top rack dishwasher safe. Price: $6.00

In other news, it looks like motherhood is going to cost me $138,095. Fortunately, Rachel forgot to fill out her time card so I'm technically not obligated to submit a check request to Accounting.

The 10 jobs listed as comprising a mother's work were housekeeper, cook, day care center teacher, laundry machine operator, van driver, facilities manager, janitor, computer operator, chief executive officer and psychologist, it said.

You can scratch one of those off of Rachel's list, because I can assure you that Rachel will never be caught dead behind the wheel of a van!!!

And Laundry Machine Operator doesn't make any sense to me. Does that mean that the wife operates another wife?

I might put up another post tonight when I'm blogging from the couch.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On.

Updates, pictures, photos, video, thermal imaging, x-rays, night vision, oh my! It’s a digital Tenzin Blogapalooza!

First and foremost in the greater-Tenzin area, we are proud to report that we have rollover!!! Hoorah!

On May 1st at approximately 7:15 pm, a Caucasian male, age 6 months, blonde hair with a poopy butt, was seen flipping over from his back to his stomach and back again. Shortly thereafter, the male in question was visited by the Rayo family but would not repeat the same performance due to spotlight stagefright. Nobody was harmed in the ordeal.

Seriously though, the little guy is finally doing barrel rolls! You know how an alligator does death rolls to subdue it’s prey, well it’s kind of like that only with adorability instead of violence. Oh, and it’ really kind of more of a flop than a continuous spinning motion. And he doesn’t really take down any small wildlife in the process. Come to think of it, it’s not really like that at all. Oh well…He’s turning. We’ll usually get about one roll per day if we’re lucky; ten rollovers if it’s Twinkie and ice cream day (just joking Grandmothers).

I would have put it on video but Murphy’s Law of parenting wouldn’t allow it:

[Muprhy’s Law of Parenting #134.04DV: if a camera is placed anywhere near the presence of an adorable act while either one and/or both parents mutters the phrase “Oh honey, get a picture of that,” any and all babies near the vicinity of that camera will immediately cease and desist cute behavior and instead, stare blankly into the camera lens.]

Here's the entire process:

Full Disclosure: Tenzin wasn’t up for preserving this momentous occasion on film so I decided to recreate the scene with a little photo-journalistic editing. His ositioning is the same as it would be in a typical rollover, but the pictures themselves were actually captured over a span of an hour. Good thing he didn’t say his first sentence or else the recreation might have taken a week.

Step One: The Back

Tenzin actually mastered this move at birth without any difficulty. He's been practicing it for about 180 days, so he's really good. Look at how he raises those 150 pound weights off the ground (i.e. his thighs).

Step Two: Screwed Turtle

Tenzin took some time off from grabbing his berries to discover his toes (thank goodness). He will be instructing Yoga classes this fall if anyone is interested. I'm just glad that babies can't "pull a hammy" because I've never seen him stretch before jumping into this position.

Step Three: London Bridge

Here we can see the initial transition from back to stomach taking place, but don't be fooled. Tenzin isn't actually leaning to his left. The sheer mass of his thighs actually shift the earth off its axis for a brief second, thus tilting the entire globe. When the eath recovers, Tenzin simply stays on his side.

Step Four: Frat Boy on Friday

You-wreaka! He's watering the carpet!

This process would not be so difficult if Tenzin's dastardly arm (whichever remains closest to the ground after London Bridge) would get out of the way more often. Tenzin is learning how to move it, though, and his hand-eye coordination is finally coming around. It's only a matter of time before he's batting clean-up for the Red Sox (A Lawyer shortstop with a doctorate form NYU who won the Masters right after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize).

Just in case you were wondering, this is what the rolling looks like on Twinkie and Ice Cream night (still kidding, Grandmothers):

Speaking of rolls, did you take a look at that kid?!?! He's got to weigh at least as much as Mini Cooper by now. We've got our (somewhat belated) 6 month check-up coming up soon and we can't wait to see how much he's grown.

We can, however, do without the shots. Rachel has never really handled the YOU-POKED-MY-SON-AND-HURT-HIM-YOU-EVIL-NURSE very well. She never looks forward to the vaccination tears, but I'm sure we'll ride through this one with flying colors.

What else?

Bath time has been switched around a bit. We discovered that we can keep ourselves 43% drier by giving the Zen a bath in the kitchen sink.

Tons of perks!!!

1) No more leaning over.

2) There's a big long kitchen hose at your disposal.

3) Those baby bottle brushes work wonders on the tonsils!

If only we had a dishwasher we could make this process automated. Now, we just need to get him to stop eating the Comet and the Brillo pads.

The sink bathing was so much fun, we even made a full-length feature film out of it!

OK, maybe it wasn't full-length, but at least now I'll be able to edit some videos. I've never worked with video editing software before, so expect to see many many many more of those fabulous star wipes!

That's about it for now. I'll get some better stories in within the week. If you get a chance, check out the new pics in the Kodak Gallery and keep your eyes on the You Tube account. I'll be throwing a ton of updates in both of those.