Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Whole Lot of Shakin' Going On.

Updates, pictures, photos, video, thermal imaging, x-rays, night vision, oh my! It’s a digital Tenzin Blogapalooza!

First and foremost in the greater-Tenzin area, we are proud to report that we have rollover!!! Hoorah!

On May 1st at approximately 7:15 pm, a Caucasian male, age 6 months, blonde hair with a poopy butt, was seen flipping over from his back to his stomach and back again. Shortly thereafter, the male in question was visited by the Rayo family but would not repeat the same performance due to spotlight stagefright. Nobody was harmed in the ordeal.

Seriously though, the little guy is finally doing barrel rolls! You know how an alligator does death rolls to subdue it’s prey, well it’s kind of like that only with adorability instead of violence. Oh, and it’ really kind of more of a flop than a continuous spinning motion. And he doesn’t really take down any small wildlife in the process. Come to think of it, it’s not really like that at all. Oh well…He’s turning. We’ll usually get about one roll per day if we’re lucky; ten rollovers if it’s Twinkie and ice cream day (just joking Grandmothers).

I would have put it on video but Murphy’s Law of parenting wouldn’t allow it:

[Muprhy’s Law of Parenting #134.04DV: if a camera is placed anywhere near the presence of an adorable act while either one and/or both parents mutters the phrase “Oh honey, get a picture of that,” any and all babies near the vicinity of that camera will immediately cease and desist cute behavior and instead, stare blankly into the camera lens.]

Here's the entire process:

Full Disclosure: Tenzin wasn’t up for preserving this momentous occasion on film so I decided to recreate the scene with a little photo-journalistic editing. His ositioning is the same as it would be in a typical rollover, but the pictures themselves were actually captured over a span of an hour. Good thing he didn’t say his first sentence or else the recreation might have taken a week.

Step One: The Back

Tenzin actually mastered this move at birth without any difficulty. He's been practicing it for about 180 days, so he's really good. Look at how he raises those 150 pound weights off the ground (i.e. his thighs).

Step Two: Screwed Turtle

Tenzin took some time off from grabbing his berries to discover his toes (thank goodness). He will be instructing Yoga classes this fall if anyone is interested. I'm just glad that babies can't "pull a hammy" because I've never seen him stretch before jumping into this position.

Step Three: London Bridge

Here we can see the initial transition from back to stomach taking place, but don't be fooled. Tenzin isn't actually leaning to his left. The sheer mass of his thighs actually shift the earth off its axis for a brief second, thus tilting the entire globe. When the eath recovers, Tenzin simply stays on his side.

Step Four: Frat Boy on Friday

You-wreaka! He's watering the carpet!

This process would not be so difficult if Tenzin's dastardly arm (whichever remains closest to the ground after London Bridge) would get out of the way more often. Tenzin is learning how to move it, though, and his hand-eye coordination is finally coming around. It's only a matter of time before he's batting clean-up for the Red Sox (A Lawyer shortstop with a doctorate form NYU who won the Masters right after receiving the Nobel Peace Prize).

Just in case you were wondering, this is what the rolling looks like on Twinkie and Ice Cream night (still kidding, Grandmothers):

Speaking of rolls, did you take a look at that kid?!?! He's got to weigh at least as much as Mini Cooper by now. We've got our (somewhat belated) 6 month check-up coming up soon and we can't wait to see how much he's grown.

We can, however, do without the shots. Rachel has never really handled the YOU-POKED-MY-SON-AND-HURT-HIM-YOU-EVIL-NURSE very well. She never looks forward to the vaccination tears, but I'm sure we'll ride through this one with flying colors.

What else?

Bath time has been switched around a bit. We discovered that we can keep ourselves 43% drier by giving the Zen a bath in the kitchen sink.

Tons of perks!!!

1) No more leaning over.

2) There's a big long kitchen hose at your disposal.

3) Those baby bottle brushes work wonders on the tonsils!

If only we had a dishwasher we could make this process automated. Now, we just need to get him to stop eating the Comet and the Brillo pads.

The sink bathing was so much fun, we even made a full-length feature film out of it!

OK, maybe it wasn't full-length, but at least now I'll be able to edit some videos. I've never worked with video editing software before, so expect to see many many many more of those fabulous star wipes!

That's about it for now. I'll get some better stories in within the week. If you get a chance, check out the new pics in the Kodak Gallery and keep your eyes on the You Tube account. I'll be throwing a ton of updates in both of those.

No comments: